


French Me, You Idiot

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Arguing, Awkwardness, Declarations Of Love, Embarrassment, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Jealous Steve McGarrett, M/M, Mentioned Danny/Melissa and Danny/Gabby, Mentioned Danny/Rachel, POV Kono Kalakaua, Post-Episode: s07e25 Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono (Life of Land Perpetuated in Righteousness), Protective Steve McGarrett, Worried Danny Williams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11070771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: If Steve and Danny were aware of what was going on between them, maybe this fight wouldn't be so volatile. If they understood that Danny's fury and Steve's recklessness came from a place of love, they might be able to discuss this rationally rather than leaving their teammates awkwardly standing outside Steve's office while they blew up at each other.But that wouldn't be half as entertaining as this was.





	French Me, You Idiot

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Наставь мне засосов, идиот!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11610390) by [Luna44](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna44/pseuds/Luna44)



> Written for the prompt "Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, French Me You Idiot (The Mindy Project)" on comment-fic: http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/803008.html?thread=102683328#t102683328. Also written for the prompt "Any, any, this is a popcorn-worthy event" on fic-promptly: http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/521441.html?thread=15520737#cmt15520737.
> 
> Minor spoilers for the season 7 finale, in that Steve thinks Danny wants to get back together with Rachel. In this fic, and in my head canon, he doesn't and is frustrated that Steve thinks that. Also, the guys are conveniently single or will immediately break up with their canon girlfriends after the conclusion of this fic.

Chin shook his head as he watched Danny's hands waving wildly as he ranted at Steve. "You know, this is really entertaining," he whispered."If this was a movie, I'd be asking you to pass the popcorn right about now."

Kono nodded in agreement. "This is better than _Scandal_." Kono had spent many Thursday nights curled up on the sofa, Adam beside her, glued to the television set and watching the crazy political drama unfold. She would often sip wine (though her glasses were nowhere near as big as Olivia's) and munch on some popcorn. But Olivia Pope had nothing on Danny Williams right now.

Lou, Chin, and Kono were watching Steve and Danny argue in Steve's office. The team had just returned from rescuing Danny after he had been kidnapped by the thugs working for Michelle Shioma. Steve had, predictably, gone ballistic and broken every traffic law known to man to save Danny. He had called the team on the way, but he had gone in guns blazing without waiting for backup, and the others were only able to arrive _after_ Steve had dispatched several of the people guarding Danny. Danny's initial gratitude at his rescue quickly turned to anger at Steve's hasty behavior. He had started sniping at Steve at the scene, but the full explosion only came once everyone had returned to the Palace. Steve had stormed off, but Danny had followed him into his office.

In his outrage, Danny had neglected to shut the office door and had clearly forgotten that Chin, Lou, and Kono were still outside. They could hear every word of their argument.

"I can't believe you would do something like that!" Danny yelled. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

"You were in danger, Danny! It's not like I had a choice."

Danny resembled a volcano that was about to explode. "A choice! You had plenty of choices! Like fucking waiting for backup for once, like I've told you a million times!"

"That would have taken too long," Steve protested. Kono looked towards Lou, who was sighing and rolling his eyes.

"This is why cops shouldn't date each other," Lou said. "I knew a couple on the force back in Chicago, and it was the same mutual insanity and overprotective bullshit as those two."

"Yeah, except they probably knew why this stuff happened," Kono replied. If Steve and Danny were aware of what was going on between them, maybe this fight wouldn't be so volatile. If they understood that Danny's fury and Steve's recklessness came from a place of love, they might be able to discuss this rationally rather than leaving their teammates awkwardly standing outside Steve's office while they blew up at each other.

But that wouldn't be half as entertaining as this was.

Danny just shook his head in exasperation. "You are an unbelievable jackass. It would have taken five minutes to wait for back up. Did you even consider the fact that you could have gotten yourself killed today?!"

The scowl on Steve's face deepened. "That didn't matter, okay?!" Kono shared a look with Chin that they had exchanged many times before. Everyone and his dog knew that Steve cared more about Danny than he did himself, and that fact was even more obvious if you worked with them everyday.

Everyone knew except the one person who needed to understand it most. "Are you saying your own life doesn't matter?" Steve opened his mouth, but Danny didn't give him a chance to answer. "Well, it matters to me, you asshole." He stepped in closer to Steve's space, tugging at his shirt and staring up into his eyes. "Don't you get it? I _love_ you."

If this actually was a movie, Kono thought, this would be the part where Steve hauled Danny into a passionate kiss. But this wasn't a movie, and Steve was apparently oblivious to romantic subtext, because his face twisted into a confused expression.

"I love you too, but I have no idea why you're doing this to me. Why the hell are you yelling at me like this? I saved your life."

Danny's lips twitched upward like he was trying to hold back a smile. "Yeah, and you did it in a way that pissed me off."

Steve shook his head and sighed. He took a couple steps away from Danny, and Kono was stunned by the bitter, miserable expression on his face. It seemed like Steve and Danny had been getting back to their normal bickering equilibrium, but something else was clearly bothering Steve.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "You'd never talk to Rachel like this," he muttered, just loud enough for those outside the office to catch every word.

"Damn, he did not just go there!" Lou exclaimed in disbelief.

The vein in Danny's forehead, just above his eyebrow, twitched, and his glare was downright murderous. "Did you just compare yourself to _Rachel_?"

Steve shrugged and glanced away at the desk. Kono grinned when she realized that her tough, Navy SEAL boss was actually pouting. "Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't have compared myself to her." The bitter expression returned to this face, and this time it was tinged with disgust. "She is the _love of your life_ , after all." Steve's jealousy was incredibly obvious to her, and judging by the smirks on Lou and Chin's faces, it was obvious to them as well. She wondered if Danny would pick up on it.

Danny closed his eyes, and he breathed in and out deeply. When he opened his eyes, he seemed like he wanted to throttle Steve, but he refrained from actually doing so. "How the hell is it even possible for you to be this stupid?" His voice was deathly quiet, and the low volume was more intimidating than his yells from earlier.

"How are you this stubborn? It's obvious that you're still in love with her, and now that she's divorced Stan, you're thinking about getting back together with her, which by the way, is the worst idea ever." Kono raised an eyebrow. This was the first she had ever heard of Danny's alleged plans. "I wish you could at least be honest with me."

Danny clenched his teeth and growled. "I'm the one who's stubborn?! You're the one who won't fucking let this go! Newsflash: I am _not_  still in love with Rachel, and she is _not_  the love of my life."

Steve scoffed. "Then, who the hell is? Gabby? Melissa?"

"You, you beautiful, wonderful, moron!"

 _Hallelujah!_ Kono raised her hand to her mouth, sure that she would squeal or cry if she hadn't stopped herself. Her grin felt like it was going to split her face in half. This moment had been seven years in the making.

It took a few seconds for it to dawn on Steve and Danny what had just happened. Danny's eyes widened, and he suddenly looked very, very afraid. The annoyance on Steve's face melted away to tentative hope and he stepped toward Danny, who backed away until he was pressed against the edge of Steve's desk.

Steve stepped closer, caging Danny against the desk. "Danny, did you just--"

"Yeah, I said it, and you know what, I'm not taking it back!" With no defenses left, apparently Danny was resorting to shouting again. He poked Steve's chest with his index finger. "So get it through your thick skull. I love you, and I want you to French me, you idiot!"

She heard a chuckle next to her and saw that her cousin had broken into a fit of startled laughter. Not that she could blame Chin. She hadn't expected Danny to be that blatant either.

"Well, damn," Lou said. He sounded impressed. "Even McGarrett can't mistake that."

Kono didn't think she'd ever seen someone look as ecstatic as Steve did at Danny's declaration. He cradled Danny's face in his hands. "Well, since you asked." And then he _finally_  kissed Danny.

Kono nearly fainted, but she caught her hand on the tech table just in time. "Thank God," she said. After the emotional rollercoaster she just witnessed, Kono felt a huge sense of relief.

Lou nodded. "It's about damn time."

"Uh guys?" Kono frowned and turned to Chin, who had an uncomfortable tone in his voice as he continued to look at Steve's office with wide eyes. "Do you think we should leave or something?"

She looked at the glass walls of the office and instantly recognized Chin's point. The kiss had started to heat up, and she was wondering when Steve or Danny were going to come up for oxygen. Steve pushed Danny onto his desk, which knocked his laptop to the floor, causing a loud crashing noise. But apparently, Steve didn't care about the sad state of his computer, because he was too intent on shoving his tongue down Danny's throat. Kono blushed heavily when Danny moaned and hooked his arms around Steve's neck to deepen the kiss.

Kono was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to see that, or the look in Steve's eyes when he broke the kiss, which could best be described as "bedroom eyes." She definitely wasn't supposed to see Danny start to undo the buttons on Steve's shirt, but for the life of her, she couldn't move, and she couldn't stop staring.

Thankfully, Lou could. He marched up to the glass wall of Steve's office and rapped on it loudly a few times. "Thought y'all might want to know that you have an audience."

Steve quickly stumbled away from Danny, holding his half-open shirt closed. He turned around to fix it, and Danny spared one embarrassed glance at everyone before he face palmed.

A moment later, they returned to the office, still looking kind of disheveled despite their efforts to compose themselves. There was one button missing near the top of Steve's shirt, which Danny must have ripped off, because it hadn't been missing earlier. Danny's hair was messier than she had ever seen it, even though he was still trying to pat it down into its regular shape. Kono pursed her lips to avoid giggling at the sight of them.

Steve cleared his throat, trying to regain some semblance of calm. "Well, uh, see... the thing is..."

Chin smirked. "You think that, since the case is finished and it's only fifteen minutes before five o'clock, we can go home early today."

Steve nodded a little too eagerly, making him resemble a bobble head doll. "If, uh, if that's what you guys think is best."

Chin and Lou left, and Kono went back to her office to go grab her purse. On her way out, she saw Steve and Danny whispering to each other about something.

"Hey, Steve?" she called out.

They turned towards her, attempting to look as if they hadn't just been having a private conversation, and failing miserably. Kono hid her amusement, for now.

"You're a good boss, you know."

Steve blinked and smiled slightly, surprised by her unexpected compliment. "Thanks."

"While the rest of us go home, I'm sure Danny won't mind working late." She winked at Danny and sent him a cheesy grin that made her meaning crystal clear.

Kono cackled when both of their faces turned bright red. She pivoted on her heel and exited the bullpen, swinging her purse in one hand and humming to herself until she arrived at her car. As entertaining as Steve and Danny were before they got hit by the clue bus, they were even more hilarious now that they were together. Kono felt positively gleeful at the prospect.


End file.
